Maureen sat at her desk and counted the minutes until she
could leave. It was 8 AM, so there were 8 hours left, which was 480 minutes.
She had just arrived, but before she could start up her computer (which took 2
minutes out of her 480 remaining), and then put sugar in her coffee (another 3 minutes),
she noticed that Darren was making his morning walk through the office.
“Hey, Maureen, we need that story today. Have you edited it
yet?” Her boss had tried to use a fake happy tone, something that Maureen
sometimes appreciated since everyone else in the office was so serious and
cutthroat all the time.
“Yeah, it’ll just be another 2 hours,” she said as Darren
smiled back and kept walking among the cubicles. Maureen had never thought
writing could ever be a chore, but since she started working at the newspaper
two months ago, she had been miserable. She thought moving to the big city and
working for an elite news company was a good move for her career, but she missed
seeing her husband, Luke, and her son, Aidan, who were back home in the Midwest.
Writing news stories used to give her a high. Her husband would often have to
force her to stop writing a particularly exciting piece to eat dinner, because
she would write and edit for hours straight. She had followed her dream, but
now was stuck in this terrible cubicle with serious people and dim lighting. Back
at her old job, people would walk out together and make plans to get dinner or
set up play dates. Here, it was different. A line of business suits paraded out
of the doors and went straight home. She’d go back to the apartment she rented
and call Luke.
“Hey, how’s work?” he would ask. He sounded so encouraging
so Maureen couldn’t tell him how miserable she was without him.
Only 2 hours left now. She had finished the story, sat in
the dingy break room at lunch and now was back at her desk, absentmindedly
finishing up another edit, while glancing up at the pictures of Aidan. Only 4
hours until she could take the plane back home. Her friends back home would be
oohing over his newest pictures, but here, nobody cared. It was all about the
work, and the place reflected that attitude. Nobody else had pictures on their desks.
Instead there were stacks of papers.
3 minutes left.
People bustled around the office, not realizing that one of
their own co-workers was leaving. Maureen had her desk cleaned off and sat at
her desk as she was at the beginning of the day except now she would never have
to stare at the clock again. She was now leaving the gloomy, white-walled room.
Upon turning in her badge and leaving the building for the
last time, Maureen felt the clouds part and the sun shine down on her. For the
first time the daisies blooming in front of the building didn’t seem fake or
remind her of a hospital. She noticed the vibrant yellow was the same shade of
their kitchen walls. The gray buildings in the city seemed to shrink, and she
could finally see the whole of the sky.
A/N
My inspiration for this week was the story of Rama during
the rainy season. Narayan describes how dark and depressing the months were,
and I tried to create a modern version of that in the form of a gloomy
workplace. It is described in the Ramayana that all animals disappeared and the
land seemed lifeless. Similarly, Maureen’s co-workers were robotic and emotionless.
Rama was thinking about what his plan was to find his wife, Sita (who was taken
by Ravana), during the months, so I created a parallel with Maureen and her
husband. However, there is an end to the rainy season in the Ramayana. The
animals returned to the land and the flowers bloomed and the sun came out. In
my story, once Maureen leaves her workplace, the same thing happens. The world
is now beautiful and there is hope that she will return to her husband and
Aidan.
Image: Wikimedia Commons
Hi Morghan! I enjoyed reading your story. The way you wrote the story made a simple plot become an interesting one. I liked the way you focused on the details of Maureen, from what she was doing to the time she had left at her dreaded job. By doing this I felt as if I was right there with her. You took inspiration from the Ramayana and made it into a completely different story while still drawing aspects from the book. Great job on your story!
ReplyDeleteWow! I think you did an excellent job of bringing mythology into the "real world". These stories are told for a reason... they mimic shared parts of the human experiences. These archetypical stories are more than just bedtime fodder for tired parents; they represent the collective experiences and beliefs of entire groups of people. I've certainly been in the same frame of mind as Maureen, and you helped to show me that I've also been in the same mindset as Rama was during the story about the rainy season. I was also very impressed with your use of language to "paint" the physical scene. I could imagine being right there in the office with Maureen, feeling down-trodden by the surroundings, excited to see family, anxious about co-workers reactions to my actions, and hopeful that I might be able to do what I love and discover my passions all over again.
ReplyDeleteHey Morghan! This was a great story to read and I’m so glad I chose it for this assignment! You did a great job giving in depth details to entice the reader. It definitely keeps them focused on Maureen’s daily work problems. I wonder though… why did she end up taking the job in the big city, but leave her family behind in the Midwest? Could they not afford to move or did she just want to do this for a while? Making that a little more clear for the readers would really help give the characters more development and history. I also think that you did a good job intertwining the original story of Rama and the rain season with Maureen’s rainy season. I wonder what would have happened if Maureen had been able to change the office atmosphere too, that could have been fun to see! As a whole, great job and I’m excited to read more!
ReplyDeleteI really like how relatable you made Maureen! It was very easy for me to identify with her, because I fear that I'll be in the same boring office that she was stuck in one day. It was easy to see how unhappy she was when she had to go into work and how much she just wanted to leave. I can't help but wonder though what was said when her husband called her that day? I know that she wanted to make sure he didn't realize how miserable she was, but did they discuss her finally coming home? Did they discuss plans of who is picking her up from the airport? If they were going to have a welcome home family dinner? What if you explained what the story she had to edit was about? If it was something super boring, it would exemplify to the reader even more so how dull her job was. What if you also explained how she felt seeing her family for the first time in a while when she got off the plan? I'm glad Maureen will finally be happy again with her family!
ReplyDeleteThis story was written well. The parallelism soon caught on to me and switch up of female and male role was brilliant. Although it seemed to be a very sad story in the beginning the ending turned out to be a happy one. Since it matched up so well to the original story, I had no confusions in understanding what was happening. I like how the husband was supportive of her, and didn't ask for her to come home. His fate in her was kept, just as Sita had fate in her husband to find her.
ReplyDeleteI really like your stylistic approach to this story. The parallelism is subtle but noticeable. The description of the atmosphere of the work place really shifted the focus from the story about Maureen and her husband (Sita and Rama) to the internalized gloom about the seemingly hopeless situation. I really liked that the gender roles were switched and I felt like it added a different and more modern quality to the story overall.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great re-telling of the rainy season! I loved this scene of The Ramayana too. I was drawn to do something with it, but I couldn’t decide what to do. I think that your modern-day interpretation of it was spot on. The dreary workplace is something that, unfortunately, many people experience! Turning this into the “rainy season” was very relatable. Once I read your author’s note, I realized that your use of detail was phenomenal!
ReplyDeletei genuinely loved this story. It was so easy to read and follow along with. I like how modern you made it, it really put this part of the Ramayana into perspective for me. I could really feel the dread Maureen felt in this story. I particularly liked the part when she left and noticed the flowers. It was like she had been trapped inside that building and was finally getting that breath of fresh air. I felt the weight lift off my shoulders just as it did hers! You did a wonderful job with this story, keep up the great work!!
ReplyDelete